I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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