from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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