If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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