and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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