You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
