this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
