i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
