Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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