I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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