woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
