so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
