you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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