Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize