He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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