you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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