I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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