you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
