Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
wow bdsm is so cute
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