I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
