Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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