one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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