just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
