oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
