we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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