There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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