so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
