I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize