so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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