There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
