How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
