Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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