I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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