Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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