Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
