I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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