And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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