Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
