why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Randomize
