I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
