just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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