just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
