wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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