please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
