You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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