I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
