I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
