So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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