White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
