I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
