it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
