dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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