It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize