He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
