We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Someone signed my nipple.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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