is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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