I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Girls should come with a carfax report
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
